I had an appointment today with Lovely ENT doctor because the Lovely Audiologist noticed my ears were irritated a little more than normal at the Hearing Aid Tune-Up last week and suggested I see the doc to figure out how to stop the itching. She didn’t think my suggestion to stop wearing the hearing aids was helpful at all.
So I saw the Doc (yes, the same doc that gave me the lecture about trashing my hearing by listening to loud rock music when I was a teenager) and he looked at my ears. “Yup that doesn’t look good” is not something you want to hear your ENT doc say when looking in your ears. You also don’t want to hear that there “appears to be a cyst of some sort” and “I want to take a closer look at this” as he takes you across the hall to a different examination room.
Y’all know that I’m a horrible hypochondriac and can picture The Absolute Worst Case Scenario in any given situation. Yes, I’m imagining I have ear cancer (it’s a thing!), or it’s going to be something that makes me totally deaf in that ear (the cyst is in my bad ear) all while I’m trying to lie still and let Lovely Doc look in my ear with some contraption and poke around with some type of instrument.
He’s explaining what he sees, and what he thinks the problem is, and blah blah blah while I’m trying to listen and not totally freak out over whatever horrible things my imagination is conjuring up . . . when he says to me in a totally calm and off-hand manner “it’s not a tumor” and then I’m suddenly faced with trying not to laugh while he’s poking around in my ear.
Have I ever explained that I have tons of useless movie trivia stuck in my head that I don’t know what to do with? And that these totally useless bits of movie trivia tend to pop up out at the most inopportune moments of my life . . . yea . . . it’s a thing . . . and it happened today . . . during the ear exam . . .
Have y’all ever seen the movie “Kindergarten Cop”? Remember Arnold’s response when the kids tell him that his headache could be a tumor? Yea, that’s what played in my head when Lovely Doc assured me it wasn’t a tumor . . .
It was all I could do to get through the last bit of the appointment without laughing like a crazy woman . . . and I’ve been laughing about it all day . . .