Tag Archives: mom

I Have No Idea How To Do This . . .

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Everybody . . . this is Mom . . . 

My biggest supporter.  My biggest champion.  The first person I wanted when the troopers came to tell me about Prince Charming’s accident.  The person I could always count on to step up and tell me when I was wrong.  She (figuratively) kicked my butt more than once when she thought I needed it . . . even if I didn’t want to hear it.  But she also sang my praises from the roof tops to anyone who would listen for all of my successes.  

She came from a massively dysfunctional family and had a very unhappy childhood.  She swore that she would not make the same mistakes her parents had made and was going to find a man that loved and cherished her and wouldn’t settle for anything less than someone who would appreciate all the gloriousness that she was.  She met the love of her life on a blind date, got engaged a month later, married him three months after that and they lived happily ever after for just shy of 62 years when he passed away.  

Family was always first and she and my Dad instilled that into all of us kids from an early age.  She always told us girls that you “have a man in your life because you want a man in your life, not because you need a man in your life.”  She and Dad taught us girls how to stand on our own two feet and how to do things to take care of ourselves.  Not just “girly” things like housework and cooking but how to change a flat tire and change the oil in your car and yard work.  Oh heavens did they ever teach us about yardwork.  

She taught my brother that he needed to do stuff for himself because he didn’t need some woman to take care of him.  She made him take a typing class in high school so he could type his own papers when he went to college.  He learned to cook and clean, too.  His wife is very thankful to my Mom for all of that.  

She raised six kids . . . and buried two.  She loved being a mom and a grandma . . . and hounded each of her grandkids to give her great-grandkids because “I’m not getting any younger and I might not be here much longer!” . . . to which the grandkids always said “Grandma!!  I’m only (insert very young age here) and I’m not out of college yet/not married yet/not ready for kids!”  Which always made her smile . . . she was thankful the kids were strong enough to know what they wanted and wouldn’t give in to a grumpy Grandma just because she said so . . . . 

I love her with all my heart . . . and it took me until I was an adult to appreciate all the sassiness that was my glorious Mom . . . our Saturday Night Adventures after my Dad died were stuff of family legend.  The time the guy paid for our meal at Steak N Shake because we were so much fun to watch.  The time she almost “stole” batteries from the Dollar Tree because they were under her purse in the cart and she forgot to pay for them.  

She gave me the courage to face life without my beloved Prince Charming and I helped her learn how learn how to live with my Dad.  

I lost my buddy on Monday afternoon.  She had been in a relatively minor car accident on April 30.  We thought she was going to be okay.  The doctors thought she was going to be okay.  She had some underlying medical issues that weren’t serious before the accident but became more complicated after the accident.  The trauma was just too much for her little body to recover from.  

We haven’t really come to terms with the fact that she’s gone . . . making funeral arrangements today was surreal . . . how can she be gone?  Is this all a horrible dream that I’ll wake up from?  

This wonderful lady taught me many lessons in her lifetime . . . but she forgot to teach me how to live without her.  

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Gnome For Christmas

Bless my Mom’s heart. She always seems to know when I need cheering up.

She bought me this cute door mat for Christmas

And . . . This cute guy

Meet Norman! Not only did Mom buy him for me – she ordered him! I think it’s touching that she special ordered a toy for her 55 year old daughter.

For someone with little Christmas spirit, she pulls off some great surprises!

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November 1

My annual attempt to write a blog page every day . . .

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First story of the month . . . taking Mom to a doctor’s appointment and her first ever experience with a GPS system . . .

Mom fell on Saturday . . . thankfully she wasn’t seriously hurt . . . bumps, bruises, black eyes, broken nose, fracture in a small bone in her hand . . . it could have been much worse and we are thankful . . . I told her that her guardian angel (my Dad) took really good care of her.

We went to the orthopedic doctor yesterday to have him look at her hand.  I was unfamiliar with the area so I put the address in the GPS and off we went.  Mom always said her GPS system was my Dad (Mom is directionally challenged and Dad was an expert navigator even when his eyesight failed him).  She was fascinated when “that lady” would interupt our conversation to tell me where to turn.  She was amazed that we arrived at the doctors office at exactly the time the GPS said we would.

We got good news that she doesn’t need surgery to fix her hand – she has to wear a brace for a while – and I got to spend some quality time with her even if it was a slightly stressful trip.

Today . . . life is good!

 

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My Purpose

I got a Christmas card from Mom today.  Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal . . . except that Mom said that she wasn’t sure she was doing Christmas cards this year.  This is her first Christmas without Dad and it’s been really difficult for her.  It’s been really difficult for me because I know exactly what she’s going through and I can’t do anything to help her or to make the pain go away.

I try to help her.  But even though I have an idea of what she’s going through . . . her grief is totally different than mine.  Mom and Dad were married just three weeks shy of 62 years.  Dad had been retired for almost 25 years and they had been together 24/7/365 for about 20 of those years.  And then Mom took care of Dad during his last illness.  So I tell her that it’s going to be okay (when we both know that’s not 100% true), that she still has us kids and her grandkids to fuss over (and that’s not the same as fussing over Dad), and I tell her that I understand and that she can call me anytime.

Yet I feel really helpless . . . probably the way she felt last year when I was having melt downs on a daily basis about facing Christmas without Prince Charming.

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This is the card I got.  Not a generic part of a package card . . . an honest to goodness, specially picked out just for me card.  From the woman that said she wasn’t buying Christmas cards this year.

And this note was inside the card . . .

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How can something so simple make me so happy and so sad at the same time?  I’m happy that I’m helping her but sad about how I gained the knowledge to be able to help her.

Everyone told me that there were reasons I didn’t/wouldn’t/couldn’t understand for how Prince Charming was taken away so tragically.  Perhaps one of the reasons was so that I could help Mom when she needed it the most.

 

 

 

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