Tag Archives: failed life

Blink And You’ll Miss It

Today starts the 30th High School Class Reunion Weekend . . . tour of the new building and a small get-together at a little pizza place in the Hometown . . . Saturday Night is The Big Event . . . Sunday is Family Picnic . . . I’ve never been to a reunion so I’m really looking forward to this.

The school district tore down the old building a few years ago to replace it with a new modern with all the latest technology building that cost a fortune and looks like something that belongs on a college campus. The nieces and nephew live in that district but I’ve only been in the auditorium (which is part of the old building). I’ve seen pictures of the new building and, frankly, I’m not impressed. I’m sure the kids are making their own memories in the new building but I want to see MY building there when I come up the hill . . . It was a beautiful old building built in the 40’s or 50’s with an addition a little later to accommodate the expanding class sizes. It had a glass walkway, and a big and a little gym, and a big and little lunch room, and being told “turn left at the pool and go to the elevator” was part of your orientation by upperclassmen (there was no pool or elevator!)

I’ve never been to a reunion for one reason or another . . . always some lame reason or another . . . but basically I didn’t feel that I had accomplished enough with my life to go “show off” at a reunion. My marriage wasn’t happy and I didn’t want to hear how wonderful it was to be married for such a long time when I felt the marriage was a prison sentence. Everyone I went to school with knew I wanted a large family and I didn’t have kids of my own. I had the step kids but it wasn’t the same . . . and I didn’t want to go into all the details of life with the kids and the drama of being a step mom and why the dream of a large family didn’t work out for me. Basically, I felt like a failure. I hadn’t accomplished anything I wanted after graduation and the life I did have was the complete opposite of what I dreamed of for myself.

As much as I didn’t think anybody wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t there, several people did notice that I never went. A couple of good friends always begged me to come and I gave whatever lame reason I had for not going. After the 25th reunion, I promised a good friend that I would be there . . . come hell or high water . . . and that’s when I decided I had to do one of two things . . . accept my life the way it is/was, or do something about it and make some changes . . .

Well, ya’ll know which route I took . . .

I finally feel ready to go to a reunion . . . well, except for the weight that I’ve picked up in the last 30 years!

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