Tag Archives: divorce

He Said, She Said

I’ve always said there are three sides to any story . . . or divorce.

There’s his side.

There’s her side.

And somewhere in the middle is what really happened.

In the beginning, I only heard Prince Charming’s side of the story.  How unhappy he was.  How lonely he was even with another person living in the house with him.  How any attempt at “fixing” the problems were met with either denial or resistance.  One person dominating the relationship and the other person doing everything they could to “keep peace.”  It seemed like Prince Charming’s marriage to The Queen is very similar to my marriage to XH.  Because I had been in that boat myself, I understood why it fell apart, what he went through during the marriage, and what he’s going through now in the divorce process.  But, like I said, there is more than one side to the story and I wondered could it really be that bad.

I believed Prince Charming but I still wanted to give The Queen the benefit of the doubt.

Then I had a chance to meet some of Prince Charming’s friends.  Some of his long-time friends.  Friends from high school.  Friends from the little town in Southern Ohio where he lived for 10 years before he moved to Virginia.  They told me that over the years, he had gotten more quiet and subdued.  They told me he seems much happier these days.  They’ve told me a little about some of the things they saw between Prince Charming and The Queen that made them wonder about the stability of the relationship.  The stories they told me were very similar to the stories that Prince Charming told me.  Their stories made me sad.

But, still, I wanted to give The Queen the benefit of the doubt.

Then when Prince Charming’s Dad passed away, I got to spend time with a lot of his extended family – cousins, aunts, uncles.  During the time they were here, I heard bits and pieces of the background story of Prince Charming’s marriage to The Queen.  More pieces to the puzzle started to fall into place.  It wasn’t a very pretty picture.  It was shaping up to be a very sad story.  My heart was starting to ache for him.

I was beginning to doubt that The Queen deserved the benefit of the doubt I had been giving her.

Then I had an opportunity to hear a conversation between Prince Charming and The Queen and the picture became crystal clear.  It was as bad as he told me.  It was probably worse!  The stories and the bits and pieces of information finally made sense.  She wants what she wants when she wants it and doesn’t care what how it inconveniences anyone.  It’s her way or no way . . . and any compromise is completely out of the question.  There was no warmth, no caring, no desire to understand anything but her point of view.

The cold authoritarian tone of her voice chilled me to the bone.  Her condescending attitude toward Prince Charming made me sad.  Her complete disregard for his feelings (or anyone’s feelings) made me angry.

It was sad to think that these two people had at one time loved each other enough to be married . . . and now they are complete strangers to each other.

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Domesticity

This weekend Prince Charming didn’t have to work. It’s kind of rare for him to have a Saturday off so we took full advantage of it.

Grocery shopping, laundry, getting out the Christmas decorations, decorating the inside of the house. Prince Charming was hoping to put some lights on the front of the house . . . but it we ran out of daylight.

Once again we had the discussion of “We need to get the Christmas cards done” and as of right now, we still haven’t gotten them done. We’ve bought them . . . they just have been addressed. To be honest . . . I put mine somewhere safe and now I can’t remember where they are!

We’ve had supper. We’re still doing laundry. We’re going to watch whoever is playing on Sunday Night Football . . . right now I’m one ahead of him in the football pool!

There are still issues we have to face with his dad’s health and the treatment schedule. There are still issues with Prince Charming’s moving-slower-than-molasses divorce. There are always gonna be financial issues relating to the moving-slower-than-molasses divorce . . . but we aren’t worrying about those right now.

Today we are boringly normal!

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One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Prince Charming got a job! In his field! Making pretty good money! He’ll be only 5 minutes from home! We’re happy as clams!

Prince Charming got a letter today from the divorce court about his lack of response to the temporary support order pertaining to his divorce. He needs to respond within 24 hours or there will be serious consequences.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry . . . and I’ve done a lot of both today!

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Hey, That’s Not Funny!

Okay, I have to confess . . . I was looking forward to the new phone books being delivered . . .

Seeing my name in print in the phone book was something exciting . . .

Remember that scene in “The Jerk”?

“The new phone books are here!  The new phone books are here!  I’m somebody now!!”

Yep, that was me tonight when the phone book showed up on the front step.

I stood in front of Prince Charming and flipped through the book . . .

Well, it’s not there.  Maybe they put it under the OLD name.

Hmm . . . it’s not there either . . .

Considering how the phone company messed up my bill, why am I surprised that they messed up my FREE listing in the phone book.

Guess I’ll have to wait til NEXT year!

Sigh . . . .

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