Taps the microphone
“Is this thing on? Check. Check”
Okay . . . *clears throat*
I know that everyone is saying this but I don’t think anyone is listening . . .
If you are sick . . . stay home
If you have a fever . . . stay home
If you are having stomach issues . . . stay home
Dear Students . . . I don’t care if you have practice, or a game, or a test, or whatever lame ass excuse you have for being at school when you are sick. You are spreading your germs to EVERY SINGLE PERSON you come in contact with . . . and they are spreading your germs to EVERY SINGLE PERSON they come in contact with. It’s no wonder that the flu is running rampant with no end in sight. Y’all are making us sick because of your “I have to . . . ” nonsense.
Dear Parents . . . your job is to be a PARENT to your child and not their FRIEND. If they are sick . . . keep them home. If they give you “but I have . . . ” line of nonsense, shut it down and keep the kid home. (But Mom, Coach won’t let me play if I don’t show up for practice!) And for heaven’s sake . . . do not bring the kid TO SCHOOL for the NURSE to tell you to TAKE THEM HOME. (Yes, we had a parent bring their child to school with a 101 temperature just so that the nurse can verify the kids temperature and SEND THEM HOME.) And when we call you to tell you the kid is sick and needs to go home . . . come get the kid NOW . . . not “I’ll get him at lunch” or “are you sure he can’t stay?” . . . WTF?!!
You may wonder the reason for my tirade . . . or you may have guessed it . . . I got the flu. Probably from one of the sick kids, or sick teachers, or sick parents that have paraded through the front office over the past week. Yes, I got a flu shot . . . thank heavens or it would have been much worse than a low grade fever, an odd achy feeling, and extreme tiredness. I told the kids I would not be happy if I get sick because of them . . . I did get sick because of them . . . and I’m not happy. And I’m going to call them on their BS excuses and send their sick little selves home EVERY SINGLE TIME they come into the office and complain about not feeling well . . .
excuse me while I go back to the couch . . .