Category Archives: Work

You Wouldn’t Understand

“You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never had kids.”

“It’s not like you have kids or anything.”

Without a doubt, those are some of the most hurtful words I’ve ever heard.

I ended a 40 year friendship because of that remark.

Hearing my XH say those words to me marked the beginning of the end of our marriage.

And today I heard them from a co-worker.   From the last person I ever thought would say such a thing.  From someone who should know better than to say something like that to a co-worker. From the HR Director.

It may have been an off-hand comment with no intention to be mean and hurtful.

But it hurt.

And it seemed mean.

She didn’t know if I was “childless by choice”

She didn’t know if I struggled with infertility and was unable to get pregnant.

She didn’t know if I was able to get pregnant but not carry a baby to term.

She didn’t know if I was able to carry a baby to term but there were complications and the baby didn’t survive.

All she knows is “No, I don’t have children” and she used that information against me to prove a point in a senseless debate that she probably won’t remember tomorrow.

But I’ll remember that conversation for a long time. And it will affect me for a long time. And it will color my relationship and all my future interactions with her and will limit what kind of personal information I choose to share with her and, possibly, other co-workers.

And that will make me seem “standoffish” and “cold” and she’ll never understand why . . .

 

 

 

 

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Filed under 2 legged kids, coping, ex-hubby, family, grief, PostADay, Stuff, Work

Christmas Break

Not exactly as exciting as it was when I worked at Local Catholic School.

I only get four days off for Christmas . . .

But I get to spend two days with Mom . . .

And four days with the doggies . . .

And I found a lost Christmas Treasure at work today . . .

OMG . . .

The ladies I work with think I’ve lost my mind when I come back to the office after finding my treasures at the Circulation Desk . . .

I think this may very well be THE BEST JOB EVER!!

 

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Negative Nelly

I have a co-worker at my new job that is not a nice person.  She’s always negative.  She’s always right . . . and does not hesitate to tell you that fact . . . even when you KNOW she’s made a mistake or is not distributing correct information.  She’s done everything.  She knows everything.  She knows the absolute perfect answer to solve whatever problem she thinks you have in your life.

She’s young.  She’s impressionable.  She’s idealistic.  She’s a pain in the ass.

I’m thankful she’s not my boss . . . just a fellow co-worker in my department.

I told you that story to tell you this story . . .

Yesterday I took Hal (my car.  yes, I named my car) to the dealership where little brother works for an oil change.  I figured it would be a simple process since I wasn’t having any problems and Hal had just spent a month at the shop for a catalytic converter problem.  Sadly, the simple oil change turned into a valve cover replacement job.  Something Little Brother discovered while he was doing a double check with the service technician during the oil change process.  Luckily that particular problem was covered by the extended warranty coverage I got by buying a genuine GM pre-owned vehicle.  At one point during the afternoon, Little Brother determined that the work wouldn’t be done by the time I got off work and arranged for a loaner car to be delivered to me to use until Hal was ready.  A 2019 Cadillac.  Yes, he works for a Cadillac dealership.  I am a very blessed girl.

This morning, the ladies in the office asked about if the repair work on Hal was complete and I said that it was and that Hal didn’t have to stay at the dealership overnight.  Negative Nelly spoke up and said that my brother should have taken better care of me.  I looked her squarely in the eye and said . . . “My brother arranged for a driver to bring me to work after I dropped off the car.  He discovered the problem before I even knew there WAS a problem AND figured out a way for the GM extended warranty to pay for the repair work.  He arranged for me to have the use of a 2019 Cadillac AND had it DELIVERED TO ME HERE AT WORK.  How exactly do YOU think he failed me?” Still looking her squarely in the eyes . . .

She looked down at her desk and said “It’s nice to know he’s got your back.”

“Damn right.  He’s ALWAYS got my back.”

My boss fist bumped me and Nelly didn’t say much to me the rest of the day . . .

It was a glorious day . . .

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Why Didn’t I Think of That

Every year I struggle with sending out Christmas cards.  Only the part where I have to seal the envelopes.

I watched the episode of Seinfeld.  I’m not licking another envelope again.  Ever.

So I used sponge thing to seal the envelopes.  I used a paper towel dipped in a bowl of water.  It’s messy and gets the cards wet . . . no  matter how careful I am.

Then I discovered a trick that the ladies at the office use when they mail information out the Board of Directors.  They use a glue stick.

Oh.  My.  Gawrsh.  Where has this wonderful idea been all my life?!  Why didn’t I think of this??

So . . . I bought glue sticks at the dollar store.  And tonight I used them to seal the envelopes of my Christmas cards.  It.  Worked.  Like.  A.  Dream.

No muss.  No fuss.  No clean up . . .

Life is good.

 

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November 15

We got snow . . .

Started out as a “winter weather advisory” when I went to bed last night.  Was an “ice storm warning” when I got up for work this morning.  Car was caked in ice.  I walked through the yard so I wouldn’t slip on the sidewalk.  Poor dogs didn’t want to go out to potty this morning because even the covered part of the deck was slick because of the ice.

Just about every school in three counties closed because of the weather.  The rain/ice stopped about lunch time and it started to snow.  We have about an inch of snow on top of the lovely layer of ice . . .

And, for the first time in three years, I didn’t get to enjoy the snow day . . .

Gosh I miss working at a school . . .

But it was FREE BOOK DAY so I guess I can’t really complain . . .

 

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November 7

The best day at work is Free Book Day!

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Today was Free Book Day!!

About once a month, we get advance copies of books waiting to be published!!  And the Business Office gets first pick of the new books!!

For a girl that loves to read and thinks working in a library is the closest thing to Heaven On Earth . . . Free Book Day is like Christmas!!

I’m kind of hoping for a really bad winter so that I’ll have plenty of time cooped up in the house to read all these glorious books!!!

 

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November 2

I got a job at the local public library a couple of months ago.

It’s a cool job.  My official title is Account Clerk I . . . I do accounts receivable, I process invoices for books and other media . . . and a bunch of other really cool stuff.

I’ve met some wonderful people.  I’ve met people who irritate the crap out of me on a daily basis.  I get to see the new books when they come in.  I get to look at Advance Reader Copies of books that haven’t even been released to the public yet.  I joined Cookbook Club . . . which feeds my love of cookbooks and my love of cooking without having to eat leftovers for an entire week.

I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time . . . and I didn’t even hesitate to type the word “happier” . . . and I didn’t feel guilty that I’m “happier” . . .

Maybe I have finally started to find my new “normal” . . .

 

 

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Filed under coping, grief, PostADay, Stuff, Work