It’s been a bit of a rough weekend here . . . my position at the lovely local Catholic School has been eliminated because of low enrollment . . . we don’t have enough kids enrolled for next year to generate the income needed to support the current amount of staff and faculty. I found out on Friday that my services were no longer needed . . . and Friday was my last day. I cleaned out my office and started a second round of semi-retirement.
To say that I’m a hot damn mess is an understatement. I received a generous severance package that includes my two weeks of vacation pay but I haven’t been “let go” from a job in over 30 years and have all kinds of worst case scenarios playing in my head. Yes, it’s scary and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment, but it’s okay . . . I know that I’ve got this and can face the new challenges ahead of me. Heck, I faced my worst nightmare and am still standing and I’m pretty sure I can face this. After all, there’s Rocky and Millie and their undying devotion and dedication to making me smile. I’ve seen several beautiful bright red cardinals in the back yard which is a sign that my guardian angels aren’t far away.
Like I said, I’m a hot damn mess but have managed to keep it together . . . when the boss told me that I was being let go . . . when I opened the front door and saw Rocky’s happy face and started to panic that I had no idea how I was going to support us . . . when I saw the sadness in my Mom’s face as I told her and I saw the sadness in her face when she realized that the job I loved was gone.
But the thing that finally broke me . . . was my silly Echo Dot. Today, Amazon released a new skill – Christmas Sounds – and I had to try it out. Because I’m a total dork when it comes to Alexa and all the cool things she can do. I asked Alexa to play Christmas sounds and since I haven’t enabled the correct skill, Alexa has no idea what I’m talking about . . . so she plays Christmas songs from Amazon Music . . . and the song she chooses to play for me is none other than “O Holy Night” by Bing Crosby.
Yes . . . a Christmas song by Bing Crosby is what reduced me to a puddle of tears . . . because “O Holy Night” was THE song that the junior high choir that Prince Charming and I were in back in the day sang EVERY CHRISTMAS. We started practicing it when school started in August and sang it practically every day until Christmas. For three years. I know every word. I can still sing my alto part perfectly . . . and this song is the one thing that Prince Charming and I had in common all the years we were apart. I thought of him and could remember hearing his beautiful bass voice singing his part . . . and he thought of me and could remember hearing my (according to him) lovely alto voice. When we got back together that first Christmas, it was a joy to be able to sing the song together again every time it was on the radio. And Bing Crosby was one of Prince Charming’s favorite singers of Christmas songs . . . to hear our song sung by his favorite singer at a totally random moment in April was a sign that I’m not alone. He’s watching me and telling me that I can do this . . . I can face this and I’ll be just fine.
Even when I’m not all that convinced of it myself just yet . . .