Daily Archives: August 13, 2018

What I Wanted To Say

I’m having issues with my Lovely Neighbors . . . two very nice gentlemen that live on either side of me who have suddenly decided that I need “help” cutting the grass in my front yard.  Mind you, my front yard is only 40 feet wide and maybe 10 feet deep.  Takes me about 15 minutes max to mow . . .

Lovely Neighbor Mike figures he’ll cut my grass because he’s out there anyway and my yard is so little that it won’t take a minute . . . . he does an okay job with cutting the grass but I feel guilty that a 70 year old man is cutting my grass when I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself . . .

Lovely Neighbor Marc doesn’t like when Lovely Neighbor Mike cuts my grass because Mike gets grass clippings on Marc’s car . . . a car that Marc is constantly fussing over . . . washing, waxing, adding fancy lights and high performance engine parts.  But instead of talking to Mike about it, Marc has decided that he will just cut the grass in my yard that’s closest to his driveway so that Mike can’t cut it and get grass all over his pretty car.  The problem with that is Marc cares very little about his yard and his mower is set too low and he does a horrible job cutting the grass.  Because my front yard is uneven and has a slight hill, there are more than a few places where Marc has cut the grass down to the dirt . . . and he only cuts that one strip of grass so I’m forced to cut the rest of the yard (whether I planned to or not) so that I don’t have to look at the horrible disaster.   I’m also forced to clean up the mess of grass clippings that he leaves behind on my sidewalk, my front steps, my front porch, my flower beds . . . he doesn’t want grass on his car but it seems to be okay to leave grass all over my yard . . .

Mind you, neither Mike or Marc have asked me if it’s okay to cut my grass.  And I haven’t asked either one of them to cut the grass for me.  I’ve stated several times that I appreciate their help but I am perfectly capable of cutting my own grass and to please stop.

They aren’t listening . . . . so what I really want to do is have the following conversation with them . . .

Me: Did I ask you to cut my grass?

Neighbor: Uh, no, but I thought I would . . . .

Me (interrupting): Did you ask me if I needed you to cut my grass?

Neighbor: Um, no, I didn’t but I thought . . .

Me (interrupting and getting angry): Then why the F@#K do you think it’s okay TO CUT MY GRASS!!  DO NOT CUT MY GRASS!!  If you have a problem with the neighbor TALK TO THE NEIGHBOR THAT’S BOTHERING YOU and LEAVE MY YARD OUT OF IT!!

But I can’t have that conversation because we’ve all lived here for more than 20 years and I don’t want to alienate the only neighbors that I actually talk to . . .

So I’m looking for another way to solve this problem . . .

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