Monthly Archives: July 2018

I Can’t Make This Sh!t Up

So y’all know that I lost my wonderful job at Lovely Catholic School a couple of months ago . . .

I’ve been looking for a new job and have been discouraged at the lack of progress and the low salary offers at the jobs I’ve been offered.  I finally found a job in with the Risk Management Department working for the county commissioners in the county next to where I live.  It’s a 30 minute drive (ugh!) but it’s not a difficult job, has decent benefits, pay less than what I was making at Catholic School and a lot less than I was making at the Community Health office.  But it’s a job with insurance so I took it and I’m hoping I can find something better paying closer to home.  Not much luck on that front at the moment but I’m going to keep looking.

One of my Dear Friends knows about my struggle to find a good paying job and my hesitation to take the County job because of the low pay.  So when the girl who has my old job at Community Health Office turned in her resignation last week, Dear Friend asked me if I wanted to “interview” for my old job.  Yes, the job that I hated so much that I quit and took a part time job making $10/hour to get away from.  The job that had the CEO that looked so much like Prince Charming that I had an anxiety attack every time I saw him in the hall.  The job that didn’t pay attention when I said I was “in over my head” and when the major screw up that I was afraid was going to happen did, indeed, happen, they almost fired me.  Yes, the very same job.  I laughed and then Dear Friend said she could pay me MORE than what I was making before.  When I asked about the “almost got fired” thing, she didn’t answer me but asked me to think about it and get back to her.

Okay, so I’m majorly tempted to interview for this job.  It’s about $6/hour more than what I’m making now.  It’s a job I know and know I can do well.  The majority of the people that are there are people I can work with on a daily basis.  The CEO that looks like Prince Charming is still there . . . but he’s retiring in six months so that won’t be a problem (or so they tell me)!  The job has been restructured a bit and reports to the office manager and the medical director instead of just the medical director.  The Office Manager is someone who was promoted to that job while I was still at Community Health Office and did not speak to me AT ALL THE LAST YEAR I WAS THERE.  Uh, I’m gonna report to someone who can’t even TALK to me?!  Dear Friend assured me that Office Manager “will be able to work with me” and “she’s fine” with it if I get hired.

Like I said, I’m majorly tempted . . . better pay, same insurance as The County, less of a commute, less of a learning curve, familiar people . . .

But . . . it’s going back to “that building” that I dreaded entering every day after Prince Charming died.  It’s being in meetings that will take place in the room where I met with the Troopers . . . a room I couldn’t stand being in anymore after that day.  It’s facing a CEO that looks like Prince Charming but acts nothing like Prince Charming.  As much as I want to take the job . . . and as much as I want to not have to worry about a paycheck . . . I honestly believe that taking that job is taking a big step backwards and all the progress I’ve made over the last four years will be flushed down the toilet.

I called Dear Friend and explained all of my reservations to her and why I did not want to interview for the job . . . and she understood and thanked me for my honesty.  She also was proud of me for being strong enough to do what I felt was right for me and not taking the easy way to solve a temporary problem . . . even though it meant she had to do a serious search to find someone to fill that position.

Even though I would have loved to take advantage of all the positives . . . there were way too many negatives for me to be comfortable there again.

And I’m still shaking my head that they even considered asking me . . .

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under coping, grief, PostADay, Work