I got a Christmas card from Mom today. Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal . . . except that Mom said that she wasn’t sure she was doing Christmas cards this year. This is her first Christmas without Dad and it’s been really difficult for her. It’s been really difficult for me because I know exactly what she’s going through and I can’t do anything to help her or to make the pain go away.
I try to help her. But even though I have an idea of what she’s going through . . . her grief is totally different than mine. Mom and Dad were married just three weeks shy of 62 years. Dad had been retired for almost 25 years and they had been together 24/7/365 for about 20 of those years. And then Mom took care of Dad during his last illness. So I tell her that it’s going to be okay (when we both know that’s not 100% true), that she still has us kids and her grandkids to fuss over (and that’s not the same as fussing over Dad), and I tell her that I understand and that she can call me anytime.
Yet I feel really helpless . . . probably the way she felt last year when I was having melt downs on a daily basis about facing Christmas without Prince Charming.
This is the card I got. Not a generic part of a package card . . . an honest to goodness, specially picked out just for me card. From the woman that said she wasn’t buying Christmas cards this year.
And this note was inside the card . . .
How can something so simple make me so happy and so sad at the same time? I’m happy that I’m helping her but sad about how I gained the knowledge to be able to help her.
Everyone told me that there were reasons I didn’t/wouldn’t/couldn’t understand for how Prince Charming was taken away so tragically. Perhaps one of the reasons was so that I could help Mom when she needed it the most.