Monthly Archives: September 2014

Little Voices

Prince Charming is buried next to his dad in a little cemetery not far from the little housing development where we grew up – and where his mom still lives and my family still lives. When his life was falling apart three years ago he told me “I just want to come home” and he was happy to be here. We had never talked about final arrangements so I had no idea what he would want. But I knew he would want to be “home” and close to his dad . . . And close enough for his mom visit him often and I can visit when I go visit my folks!

I told you that story to tell you this story . . .

Last weekend I had to go to the little butcher shop in my little hometown for some yummy lunch meat. This little butcher shop is near the cemetery where Prince Charming is buried. On my drive out there I heard a little voice telling me to go to the cemetery. “But I was just there!” I said. “I don’t want to be “that” lady that goes every week! The voice said “please just go.” Well since he said “please” how could I resist?

I pull into the cemetery and the groundskeepers are mixing concrete! Whoo hoo! A foundation for the headstone! It’s all I can do to not speed through the cemetery to get to Prince Charming’s grave. Imagine my surprise when I get there and see the foundation had been poured! The cement was still a little wet and I couldn’t resist putting my fingerprint in the cement (in a spot that won’t show when the headstone is placed)!

So how strange is it that I’m excited about this?

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Progress

Seemed like everything was stuck in limbo for the longest time . . . and then everything started moving at once!

We finally got the final death certificate for Prince Charming . . . which means that all kinds of things can start to move . . . charges were filed against the driver that caused the accident.  No drugs, alcohol, or speeding involved in the accident.  The driver has been charged with vehicular homicide . . . which in the State of Ohio is a second degree misdemeanor.  He faces 6 months in jail, a $750 fine, and losing his drivers license for up to 5 years. 

Now that that we have the final death certificate and an “official” cause of death . . . the personal injury case can move forward a little . . . it’s still a “hurry up and wait” process, but at least we have finally made a step forward.

Most of the estate work is done . . . but there have been a couple of things in that process that I’ve had to deal with.  One is a medical bill from 2012 that supposedly has never been paid.  I’m waiting on paperwork on that.  One is a tax bill from the little city where we live . . . there is a dispute about Prince Charming’s 2012 city tax return that I thought he had taken care of but he apparently hadn’t.  I’m letting the lawyer handle that one. 

I ordered the headstone and it’s almost ready for installation . . . I’ve seen a picture of the headstone and, let me tell you, there is nothing creepier in the world than seeing your name on your very own headstone.  Not to mention the totally surreal feeling of seeing Prince Charming’s info on his side of the stone.  It’s a beautiful stone and I’m very happy with it . . . except for the fact that I can’t shake the feeling that some of the letters in Prince Charming’s name are just a touch “off” and look crooked to me.  I need to see it in person to make sure that it’s exactly perfect . . . I can’t be looking a crooked letters on his headstone for the rest of my life!    

Some days it seems like he’s been gone forever . . . and some days it seems like he’s only been gone a few days . . . and I still expect to see him walk through the front door or see his car in front of the house when I come home from work . . . but yet with each forward step I make it’s becoming more and more real to me . . . this isn’t a nightmare that I’m gonna wake up from . . . this is my new normal. 

 

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