He Said, She Said

I’ve always said there are three sides to any story . . . or divorce.

There’s his side.

There’s her side.

And somewhere in the middle is what really happened.

In the beginning, I only heard Prince Charming’s side of the story.  How unhappy he was.  How lonely he was even with another person living in the house with him.  How any attempt at “fixing” the problems were met with either denial or resistance.  One person dominating the relationship and the other person doing everything they could to “keep peace.”  It seemed like Prince Charming’s marriage to The Queen is very similar to my marriage to XH.  Because I had been in that boat myself, I understood why it fell apart, what he went through during the marriage, and what he’s going through now in the divorce process.  But, like I said, there is more than one side to the story and I wondered could it really be that bad.

I believed Prince Charming but I still wanted to give The Queen the benefit of the doubt.

Then I had a chance to meet some of Prince Charming’s friends.  Some of his long-time friends.  Friends from high school.  Friends from the little town in Southern Ohio where he lived for 10 years before he moved to Virginia.  They told me that over the years, he had gotten more quiet and subdued.  They told me he seems much happier these days.  They’ve told me a little about some of the things they saw between Prince Charming and The Queen that made them wonder about the stability of the relationship.  The stories they told me were very similar to the stories that Prince Charming told me.  Their stories made me sad.

But, still, I wanted to give The Queen the benefit of the doubt.

Then when Prince Charming’s Dad passed away, I got to spend time with a lot of his extended family – cousins, aunts, uncles.  During the time they were here, I heard bits and pieces of the background story of Prince Charming’s marriage to The Queen.  More pieces to the puzzle started to fall into place.  It wasn’t a very pretty picture.  It was shaping up to be a very sad story.  My heart was starting to ache for him.

I was beginning to doubt that The Queen deserved the benefit of the doubt I had been giving her.

Then I had an opportunity to hear a conversation between Prince Charming and The Queen and the picture became crystal clear.  It was as bad as he told me.  It was probably worse!  The stories and the bits and pieces of information finally made sense.  She wants what she wants when she wants it and doesn’t care what how it inconveniences anyone.  It’s her way or no way . . . and any compromise is completely out of the question.  There was no warmth, no caring, no desire to understand anything but her point of view.

The cold authoritarian tone of her voice chilled me to the bone.  Her condescending attitude toward Prince Charming made me sad.  Her complete disregard for his feelings (or anyone’s feelings) made me angry.

It was sad to think that these two people had at one time loved each other enough to be married . . . and now they are complete strangers to each other.


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Filed under divorce, PostADay, Prince Charming

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