First call of the day . . . a sub on the switchboard asked if I called a certain client this morning . . . Uh, no, I just walked in the door. “Well, someone called her from here because the number was ‘unavailable’ and our calls always come up that way.” Did they leave a message? “No” Did she say what med she needed “No.” I just rolled my eyes and asked the sub to give me the phone message.
I called the patient and asked if she had called about a refill on her meds. “No, but I’m gonna be out soon so I thought you might be calling to remind me.” Uh, sorry, my psychic abilities don’t work until after I’ve had my caffeine.
A co-worker calls me to tell me there’s a typo on the form that I’m supposed to distribute to the clerical/clinical staff today. “It’s in the middle of the first page. Can you find it and fix it before you send it out? Thanks!” I proof read the form . . . I ran Spell Check on the form . . . I can’t find the typo . . . I called the co-worker to get more info about the typo but haven’t gotten a response yet. The co-worker that called me is the one who typed the form and made the typo but yet she doesn’t remember what word is typed wrong!
A patient called today in tears that her evil landlord is enforcing the no pets rule and she needs her doctor to write her a note saying that she needs a small companion dog – like a chihuahua – to help with her mental problems. Her nephew bought the dog for her a “couple of months ago” even though she’s in a “no pets” building. She has to have it today . . . “can I have my landlord drop the form off to you?” Uh, no, the doctor is on vacation for a week and you need to sign a release of information form before we can send the form to the landlord. “Oh, really? Okay, well I’ll just wait til my appointment on the 27th.”
I called a client to tell him the written prescription he requested was available for him to pick up. The patient said “I’m at the pool. Can I have my mom get it for me?” Uh, no, that’s not possible. “Why?” Uh, because it’s for a controlled substance. “Oh, okay, well I’ll be there tomorrow.”
And everyone wonders why I’m always laughing in my office. Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up!