Monthly Archives: March 2011

The Man Of The House

No, I don’t have an announcement about a new addition to my life . . . yet!  There have been some developments in the romance dept, but that’s a story for another day . . .

Today I need to vent about something . . .

Something that ExHubby said that has had me riled all week!  And yes I know that’s why he is called ExHubby but still . . . WTF!  Where did he get off saying that!?  And why am I still surprised as some of the hurtful things he’s been saying to me!?

Yes, ExHubby knows that I have someone that I’m romantically interested in . . . there have been a few remarks made but nothing mean or hateful . . . yet . . . and he knows that it’s a long distance relationship so NewGuy isn’t at the house all that much . . .

So the other day I was asking ExHubby some questions about a home improvement project that I am planning to do later this spring . . . and the project I’m planning is to tear down the lean-to that ExHubby built onto the garage to house his boat.  Since the boat is gone, the need for the lean-to is gone.  I never liked the lean-to, I never wanted the lean-to, but I understood the need for the lean-to because it saved us a lot of money on boat storage fees.  I was all for saving money on boat expenses! 

I’m going to tear down the lean-to and get rid of the gravel and plant grass in front of the garage again and re-plant my rose bushes.  When I asked ExHubby if he wanted the gravel for his driveway, he asked why I was getting rid of it.  I told him my plans and heard silence for a couple of seconds on the other end of the phone.  Then he said that I might want to re-think that decision unless “the man of the house” (meaning NewGuy) had decided that he wanted to make those changes. 

I looked at the phone with a classic “WTF?” look on my face . . . and then I very politely told ExHubby that “I” was the “man of the house” and had been since October.  That I was doing just fine running the household all by myself , thankyouverymuch!  That “I” didn’t like the lean-to and “I” wanted it torn down.  He again said that I might want to re-think that decision.  I’ll admit that I could have blasted ExHubby with my very heated opinion of his chauvenistic attitude about homeownership but I didn’t.  I thanked him for his input and ended the conversation . . . before I lost my temper!

The more I’m thinking about what he said, the madder I’m getting!  Okay, it’s probably a true sign of what he thinks of my ability to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself . . . and that’s part of the problem that we had when we were married . . . and part of why we’re divorced.  We have a cordial relationship right now, but it’s only because it suits his purposes for it to be that way.  The minute it stops suiting his purposes it’s back to the angry days right after we separated.  It’s happened a few times already so I know the pattern by now. 

I’ve been on my own for 6 months now.  I’ve done just fine managing the house by myself.  Even when I personally couldn’t do what needed to be done (like shoveling snow because of my broken arm), I managed to find a way for it to be done.  The utilities are still on, the house isn’t being foreclosed on, the dogs aren’t starving, there’s food in the house.  I haven’t collapsed in a heap because of the stress of living alone.  I haven’t quit.  I haven’t given up.  I haven’t gone crawling to him asking him to come back because I’ve realized I’ve made a horrible mistake. 

It makes me mad that even when I show him on a daily basis that all of his opinions of me are wrong, he continues to believe that it’s just a matter of time before I screw something up.  Seriously?!  Is that any way to think of someone that you supposedly spent 28 years of your life loving and cherishing?  Seriously?!  It must have been one hell of a burden for someone so perfect to be married to someone like me . . .

In case you’re wondering . . . the verdict on the lean-to is that it’s coming down as soon as it gets a little warmer.  If ExHubby doesn’t want the gravel, then I’ll find someone who does.  The rose bushes might not be back this spring, but they will be there next spring . . .

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Seasoned

I’m not old, I’m seasoned . . .

At least that’s what I’m telling myself . . .

When my sisters and my mom comment on the white hair that is replacing my beautiful blonde . . . 

When I agonize over the unwanted pounds that have taken up permanent residence on my hips and thighs . . .

When the family doc gave me a script for a new water pill because the one I’m on isn’t working quite as well as it could . . .

When I call to make an appointment to order the support hose the family doc prescribed to help with the swelling in my ankles . . .

Yea . . . it’s been a fun week . . .

You can stop laughing now!

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Mmm Sleep

Another sign that I’m dealing better with stress . . .

My sleep issues are gone . . .

I’ve been getting lots of sleep these days . . .

Yay!!

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Oh Heaven Help Me!

I have a cold.

My nose is stuffed.  I’m sneezing.  My eyes are watering. 

I’ve gone all winter without even a sniffle and I get this crap in March!? 

In the last 6 months, I’ve survived a broken arm, surgery, physical therapy, getting divorced, living alone, and my first road trip alone.  Is it really necessary to test my resiliance with a stinking cold?!

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Coping

I get migraines.  They started in the early’90s.  A really sharp pain over my right eye.  It starts out as a dull ache and then progresses to a sharp stabbing pain.  If it gets really bad, I get a really queasy. 

They were controlled with meds for years . . . I’ve been off the meds for a couple of years now.  I get them when it’s hot and very humid in the summer or when there’s a lot of stress in my life.  But the funny thing about the stress headaches is that I get them AFTER I’ve dealt with the stressful situation. 

Considering the path my life has taken lately, I’ve been expecting a migraine (or two, or three!).  Since I haven’t had one, I’ve been thinking that I’ve either dealt with the situations very well and haven’t been stressed or that I’m not done dealing with the situation. 

I got my answer this morning.

I woke up with a migraine.  Yea, this sucks. 

But the good news is . . . I think this means I’ve finally dealt with the stress!!

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Just An Ordinary Day

I love Tuesdays . . . at least the part that happens after I get home from work.

It’s staying lighter longer so I get to take the dogs for a walk.  Millie and Rocky are happy that spring is around the corner and that Mommy’s arm is healing so they can go for their nightly walk.

I had left over Chipotle for supper.  I love Chipotle.  Every Monday I get a burrito bowl and I have leftovers for dinner on Tuesday night. 

And the very best part of Tuesday . . . going to “The Homestead” for a visit with the folks, my siblings, and as many nieces and nephews that don’t have other plans for the evening.  Lots of noise.  Lots of laughter.  And dessert.  There’s always dessert.

Dessert always makes a bad day much better.

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