No, I don’t have an announcement about a new addition to my life . . . yet! There have been some developments in the romance dept, but that’s a story for another day . . .
Today I need to vent about something . . .
Something that ExHubby said that has had me riled all week! And yes I know that’s why he is called ExHubby but still . . . WTF! Where did he get off saying that!? And why am I still surprised as some of the hurtful things he’s been saying to me!?
Yes, ExHubby knows that I have someone that I’m romantically interested in . . . there have been a few remarks made but nothing mean or hateful . . . yet . . . and he knows that it’s a long distance relationship so NewGuy isn’t at the house all that much . . .
So the other day I was asking ExHubby some questions about a home improvement project that I am planning to do later this spring . . . and the project I’m planning is to tear down the lean-to that ExHubby built onto the garage to house his boat. Since the boat is gone, the need for the lean-to is gone. I never liked the lean-to, I never wanted the lean-to, but I understood the need for the lean-to because it saved us a lot of money on boat storage fees. I was all for saving money on boat expenses!
I’m going to tear down the lean-to and get rid of the gravel and plant grass in front of the garage again and re-plant my rose bushes. When I asked ExHubby if he wanted the gravel for his driveway, he asked why I was getting rid of it. I told him my plans and heard silence for a couple of seconds on the other end of the phone. Then he said that I might want to re-think that decision unless “the man of the house” (meaning NewGuy) had decided that he wanted to make those changes.
I looked at the phone with a classic “WTF?” look on my face . . . and then I very politely told ExHubby that “I” was the “man of the house” and had been since October. That I was doing just fine running the household all by myself , thankyouverymuch! That “I” didn’t like the lean-to and “I” wanted it torn down. He again said that I might want to re-think that decision. I’ll admit that I could have blasted ExHubby with my very heated opinion of his chauvenistic attitude about homeownership but I didn’t. I thanked him for his input and ended the conversation . . . before I lost my temper!
The more I’m thinking about what he said, the madder I’m getting! Okay, it’s probably a true sign of what he thinks of my ability to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself . . . and that’s part of the problem that we had when we were married . . . and part of why we’re divorced. We have a cordial relationship right now, but it’s only because it suits his purposes for it to be that way. The minute it stops suiting his purposes it’s back to the angry days right after we separated. It’s happened a few times already so I know the pattern by now.
I’ve been on my own for 6 months now. I’ve done just fine managing the house by myself. Even when I personally couldn’t do what needed to be done (like shoveling snow because of my broken arm), I managed to find a way for it to be done. The utilities are still on, the house isn’t being foreclosed on, the dogs aren’t starving, there’s food in the house. I haven’t collapsed in a heap because of the stress of living alone. I haven’t quit. I haven’t given up. I haven’t gone crawling to him asking him to come back because I’ve realized I’ve made a horrible mistake.
It makes me mad that even when I show him on a daily basis that all of his opinions of me are wrong, he continues to believe that it’s just a matter of time before I screw something up. Seriously?! Is that any way to think of someone that you supposedly spent 28 years of your life loving and cherishing? Seriously?! It must have been one hell of a burden for someone so perfect to be married to someone like me . . .
In case you’re wondering . . . the verdict on the lean-to is that it’s coming down as soon as it gets a little warmer. If ExHubby doesn’t want the gravel, then I’ll find someone who does. The rose bushes might not be back this spring, but they will be there next spring . . .