Daily Archives: January 29, 2011

Did You Know He Said That?

The divorce came out of the blue . . . at least to almost everyone that was close to ExHubby and me . . . and from what I’m hearing, it was totally out of the blue for ExHubby. 

It was a long process.  There had been problems off and on for many years.  The last three years were particularly difficult.  I tried to tell ExHubby about the problems, but he never saw the problems.  How can you fix a problem if your significant other won’t acknowledge a problem exists?   So it went from bad, to worse, to “I’m done.” 

I have had a couple of people tell me that they weren’t really surprised by the news.  I’ve even had a couple of them ask what took me so long.  Guess the problems were pretty obvious to everyone but me and him.

I’m taking the high road and telling a non-descript version of the story.  Things weren’t working.  It had been going down hill for a long time.  I thought it would be best to end things now before we hated each other.  Even though I can’t be married to him anymore, I still love him and I don’t want to drag our dirty laundry out in public. 

I’ve told my family and the step-kids the true story behind the divorce.  I figure those are the only people who really need to know.  I’ve told ExHubby my side of the story but he’s in denial and won’t/can’t believe me.

I know he’s telling his side of the story to everyone that will listen.  I know this because I’m hearing his side of the story from the people who have heard it. 

I heard his side of the story from my mother.  Yes, he called her the day he moved out to tell her that he was leaving and why.

I heard his side of the story from my next door neighbor.  He told him the entire story when he was moving furniture out.

I heard his side of the story from a mutual friend that used to work with him at the auto parts store.  Evidently he’s been telling his side of the story to her for years.

We live in a small town.  He grew up in this small town and knows a lot of people.  I’ve lived here for 28 years . . . a lot of people know me as His Wife.  If these are the stories that are coming back to me . . . can you imagine the ones that aren’t? 

And everytime I hear another report of what he’s saying, I smile sweetly and say “Yes, I know what he’s saying.  It’s unfortunate that he’s doing it but what can I do?”  And my favorite response, “There are three sides to every story, his, mine, and the truth.”

I guess I could say someting to him about it, but I’m kind of in a no win situation here.  The person he is now is not the person I married and it’s a crap shoot whether I’ll get the nice guy or the cranky pain-in-the-ass.  If it’s the nice guy, I’m happy he’s not complaining about something.  If it’s the cranky pain-in-the-ass, I want him to leave as soon as possible before we start a fight.  I figure that if I keep my mouth shut and he keeps running his, then everyone will learn the truth . . . karma will bite him eventually . . .

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