Monthly Archives: November 2010

So Now What?!

Most of the dust has settled from the divorce saga. 

STBX has moved into his little house and has settled nicely into his new little life.  He has filled his little house with lots of new things stuff.  His original plan of moving to Colorado kind of went to the wayside when his SSI disability claim was approved the end of October.   

I get to keep my dream house and most of the “stuff” from the marriage.  Most importantly, I get to keep Rocky and Millie.  But the house seems a little bare and kind of quiet but we’re adjusting nicely. 

The paperwork has been filed and the final hearing date has been set.  There is a list of things that need to be done seems to grow every day.  The more I get done, the more there is to be done. 

I’m learning that the problems were way more obvious than I ever imagined.  I’m always surprised when someone tells me they knew I had been unhappy for a long time. 

I’m learning that it’s impossible to cook for one.  So I cook the same amount as before, eat it for two meals, and then freeze the rest.  It’s pretty nice to know that I have something to pull out of the freezer for supper if I forget to set something out before I leave for work. 

I’m learning that yard work is very hard work no matter how small or large the yard might be. 

I’m learning that I’m a lot stronger, smarter, talented than I ever imagined.

It’s been very liberating . . .


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Moving Day

Well, I guess I knew this day would come eventually . . .
but I never dreamed Spaces would make it mandatory . . .
soooo . . .
come visit me here
now I gotta figure out how to move 5 years of stuff . . .

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The Other Shoe

Remember back when MIL passed away and I was expecting major family drama with Hubby/STBX and his siblings?  Remember how surprised I was when the drama never materialized?  Well, it took a while, but the other shoe finally fell . . . and Ladies and Gentlemen . . . we have drama!
MIL left $1500 each to BIL and SIL #2.  SIL #1 had been estranged from the family for 40 years (she left home at 16) and was excluded from the will.  STBX was named executor of the will and received the rest of the estate.  The estate consisted of her personal possessions and her house.  Which meant that the house had to sell in order for anyone to get any money and the estate to be closed.  Piece by piece, bit by bit, we sold off her personal possessions.  We kept the utilities on, we paid the mortgage, we paid the taxes and insurance.  Most of that money came out of our pocket.  We listed the house with a real estate agent and tried to sell the house.  No luck with first real estate agent, so we decided to rent the place and save up the rent money to pay off the siblings so that we could settle the estate.  Rental arrangement didn’t quite work out and the renter never moved in . . . so the house went back on the market again.  We struggled to save the money to pay off the siblings and close the estate and we prayed for the house to sell!  Then the whole divorce drama started and it was a stroke of luck that the house hadn’t sold and was sitting there empty because that’s where STBX is staying now.  
Then STBX came into some money and was able to pay off the siblings, the estate lawyer, and finally close MIL’s estate.  Again, more money out of his own pocket.  The estate was settled and the title to the little house was transferred to STBX.  We both breathed a large sigh of relief that it was finally over.  Or so we thought . . .
No sooner did the ink dry on the title transfer than STBX got a call from BIL that he and SIL #2 wanted the $1200 they paid for towards MIL’s funeral.  They figured if STBX had the money to pay the $1500 they got from the estate, then he had the $1200 they paid for the funeral.  After all, he got his money back so they should get their’s back.
Neither one of us can explain to them that there is no money from the estate.  The house is the estate and if the house doesn’t sell then there is no money.  They don’t understand why Don (and I) would take our own money and pay them off.  They only understand that they aren’t getting their fair share and they want more.  They don’t understand that if held an auction and no one bid on the house then nobody would get any money at all. 
They are threatening to get a lawyer and sue STBX for the money they are "owed" and STBX is threatening to tell the estate lawyer about the amount of money he (we!) spent on upkeep on the little house and sue the siblings for their share of that.  The money that went out is way more than the money they are owed . . . .
As tempting as it is to jump into the fight and ask for half of the money that STBX might get from siblings . . . there is no way I’m getting into the middle of that fight . . .
I’m considering it a very expensive life lesson . . .

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