Monthly Archives: April 2010


You knew it was going to happen . . . you probably just didn’t expect it so soon . . .
Everybody, this is Millie . . . . Millie, this is everybody
Yes, I know it’s not the best picture, but it’s the best I can do right now.  She’s a bit of a whirling dervish.  So very excited to have a new home and a new family that she’s on the go . . . all the time. . . kind of like the Energizer Bunny.
She’s wearing me out.  She’s wearing Hubby out . . . which is funny because he’s the one that was so gung ho to get her . . . 
She’s wearing Rocky out, too! 
We adopted her from the same rescue group that we adopted Rocky from last year.  Her name was Melvene . . . which we hated, so we changed it to Melanie . . . but then we couldn’t remember her name so it ended up being Millie . . . which suits her somehow. 
She looks like Blacky but acts like Luci.  I think God’s sense of humor has a lot to do with Millie joining the family.  Since Blacky died, I’ve said a hundred times that I don’t know what to do with myself since I don’t have Blacky’s hair to clean up.  When Luci was sick, I prayed for my rambunctious evil Luci to come back.  Mom always said be careful what you wish for, you might end up with it.  Boy did I ever.  
From what we can tell, Millie’s about a year old – just slightly younger than Rocky.  She’s still got a lot of puppy energy so we think she might be slightly less than a year old.  Her previous family didn’t pay much attention to her and she ran off alot.  Luckily, we don’t seem to have that problem with her.  She’s a very smart girl and knows some basic obedience commands.  However, her curiousity gets the better of her and she has to investigate everything.  Boy, does that sound familiar!  She has a fascination with shoes and has been dragging them all over the place when she finds them.  Makes for some very interesting games of hide and seek!  
I have to admit that I was very upset with Hubby when he suggested that we take Rocky and go look at doggies to add to the family.  I knew that "look" meant "adopt" and I didn’t want any part of that.  I wasn’t ready.  I wanted to grieve.  I wanted to be angry.  I wanted to be sad and sit on the couch and cry.  I thought it would be mean to bring a new dog into the house so soon after losing Luci.  What would Rocky think?  Poor Rocky had known that Luci was sick and I think he had a better idea of how bad it was than I did.  He’s such a gentle loving dog and I couldn’t tell if he was grieving over Luci or just being his normal wonderful self.  My wonderful boy took to Millie like a duck to water and Millie loved us.  I got initiated less than 1 minute after meeting her.  Muddy paw prints on my shirt.  Broken purse strap.  Nice bruise on my chin when I bent down to pet her and she head-butted me in the chin. 
She torments Rocky the same way that he tormented Luci just one short year ago!  Hubby and I have been telling him all week that it’s payback for how he tormented Luci last year.  He seems to understand.  He’s very happy that he’s got someone to play with although he’s not so sure about the fact that he’s no longer the baby in the family. 
I kept saying I wasn’t ready and that Hubby was the one to have to deal with her.  Hubby said that was fine.  I kept saying I wasn’t getting up in the middle of the night and I’m not going to be the one training her.  He said that was fine, too.  I thought yea, right.  Well, Hubby is the one getting up with her in the middle of the night, but since I’m the one doing the walks, I’m the one doing most of the training.  Not a bad trade-off, I suppose.  Yes, I’m warming up to her . . . yes, I find myself calling her Luci and then crying when I realize that it’s not Luci . . . yes, I see that Hubby had my best interests at heart . . .
It’s still been a very bad week, but Millie has given me hope . . . .  
P.S.  Millie’s middle name is Lucifer . . . in honor of Luci . . .


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One Foot

I’m putting one foot in front of the other and getting through the day. 
I miss Luci.
Rocky misses Luci.
Hubby misses Luci a lot more than he cares to admit. 
One minute I’m fine and the next minute I’m a blubbering mess. 
Of all the four legged babies I’ve lost over the years, Luci’s death is the hardest to deal with. 


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A Very Bad Day

I’ve spent more time on the phone today that I care to think about talking to the specialist and the local vet.  They have test results but nothing is jumping up and shouting "THIS IS THE PROBLEM".  We can do more tests and we can try different treatments but the bottom line is that they have no idea what it wrong with Luci.  They have no idea if there are serious irreversable complications from whatever it is that they can’t diagnose.  They can’t explain why a 4 year old dog that was perfectly fine two weeks ago is suddenly not eating, not drinking, and not getting any better no matter what they try.
She’s my baby and she’s in pain.  I don’t like that.  They don’t have any answers.  I don’t like that either.  They want to use her as a guinea pig while they test different theories and treatment options.  Well, that just ain’t happening. 
I can’t ask her to continue to fight if there is no hope that she will get better.
We made a very difficult decision to end her suffering.  
Luci passed away today at 5:45 p.m.
It’s been a very very bad day. 


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Beside Myself

I am not a happy woman.  Actually, I’m a Mommy on the War Path . . .
Trip to the specialist was very informative.  Once again I learned that I should listen to my gut.  I knew all along that the local vet was missing something with Luci and I was right.  Turns out that she doesn’t have CHF.  Probably never had CHF.  All the problems she’s having are probably a result of the original colitis attack she had two weeks ago.  That original colitis attack was more than likely a pancreatitis attack and the not eating, labored breathing, and "shivers" are all from the discomfort of the pancreatitis and not CHF.  
There were things that didn’t add up and didn’t make sense to me.  But I’m not a vet and I’m paying them ALOT of money to tell me what’s wrong with my dog.  Here we are two weeks later and Luci’s still not any better – she’s still a very sick girl – and there is a possibility that there might be long term complications from the delay in getting the right diagnosis.  
Other than the discomfort, her main problem is being dehydrated from the water pills that she didn’t need to be on in the first place.  We have to try to hydrate her without resorting to a hospital stay at the fancy animal hospital with around the clock care to deliver IV fluids.  She’s not eating, she’s not drinking much and we have to get 1 cup of fluids down her ever two hours.  Yea, it’s been a fun night.  I’m being creative and it’s working so far.  
We switched to this local vet after Blacky passed away because the animal shelter that gave us Rocky used this vet. I was completely happy with the vet we had before but it was a 30 minute trip one way to the vet office and I thought it might be nice to have a vet closer to the house in case of an emergency.  Man that decision is haunting me now.  
There may be long term complications from this.  Luci suffered for two weeks when she didn’t need to.  I’m beside myself with anger.  With guilt.  With fear. 

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