I know my last entry made me sound like an selfish evil stepmonster. Believe me, I feel like a selfish evil stepmonster. What kind of woman isn’t thrilled to find out that her stepdaughter is bringing the grandkids home for a semi-surprise visit?! As hard as I’ve tried, I just can’t build a good relationship with Princess. I’m not saying that I’m totally blameless in this situation, because I’m not. I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the years in how to deal with Princess. But all the years of dealing with The Drama that swirls around Princess has taken it’s toll on me and I just don’t want to play anymore.
I’ve forgiven her for (and have tried to forget) the things that were said and done when she was a young girl. She was just 8 years old when Hubby and The Ex got divorced and then I came in to her life. I know that it was hard for her to deal with everything. I was young and I didn’t know what I was doing. She was just a little kid and couldn’t help how she was feeling. But it is scary to think how close I came to leaving Hubby because of some of the things that Princess pulled back then. It’s water under the bridge and not important anymore. I have apologized to her many times for any hurt that I caused back then. But inevitably, these hurts are brought back up to me everytime we have a fight.
I’ve forgiven her for the blow-up she had with Hubby (and me) that kept him away from her high school graduation, her wedding to her High School Sweetheart, and the birth of Big Man (grandson #2). Honestly, I don’t even remember what that one was about anymore. I just remember that it hurt Hubby to the core to miss that stretch of her life. If Hubby was willing to forgive and forget, then I could too.
The last five or six years have been the roughest of our relationship with Princess. It’s been one battle after another. She takes, and takes, and takes but gives back very little. She’s like a spoiled little kid that throws a temper tantrum if you tell her no or if you don’t agree with her opinion. There have been a couple of very bad blow-ups where she’s dropped out of our lives for a year or so. Then she comes back like nothing ever happened and we are silly enough to let her back in. This last blow-up was very bad. It hurt Hubby deeply. It hurt me, too, but only because it hurt Hubby so badly. I’ve been hurt so many times by Princess that I’m numb. She’s never liked me anyway so I’m not surprised when she hurts me. But to Hubby, she’s Daddy’s Little Girl and I can’t for the life of me figure out why she would hurt him like that. I’d rather cut off both my arms than to hurt my Dad, but she does it on a regular basis without even blinking an eye.
So, let’s just say that I’m cautious now when it comes to Princess. I keep her at arms length. After all these years, I finally realize that this is just the way it is. When we had the last blow-up she said she wanted us to stay out of her life. Okay, fine, I can accept that. I’ve played this game enough to know what’s going to happen next. She’s back in our lives now, but it won’t last long. It might be a few months from now, or a year from now, but it will happen. She’ll get her feelings hurt or she won’t get her way, we’ll be the worst scum of the universe, and she’ll go away again. I’d give anything to be wrong. I pray that I’m wrong. But my gut is telling me that I’m not. And that makes me very sad. Sad mainly for Hubby because she is so important to him.
By the way, Princess didn’t come home this weekend. When she cashed her check, she realized she didn’t have enough money to get here and back home. I’m proud to say that Hubby told her that if she didn’t have the money, she should just stay home. He wasn’t going to pay for her trip home. She’s going to save her money and come home for Thanksgiving. Supposedly.