Does She or Doesn’t She

The women in my family have been known to go grey at a very early age, so it wasn’t much of a surprise when I found my first grey hair shortly after my 23nd birthday.  That was also the year that my 12 year old stepdaughter came to live with us so I’m not sure if the change was genetics or stress.  I’m thinking that the combination of the two pretty much doomed me.  Anyway, it wasn’t until about my 35th birthday that I decided that I needed to try the highlights.  I didn’t want to cover the grey . . . I wanted to do something to improve the dishwater blonde base color.  It worked and it looked lovely.  Last winter, though, I got curious about my "real" hair color and I stopped the highlights.
I discovered that there is a lot more grey/white hair than I expected, but the yucky dishwater blonde color has turned to a nice shade of light brown.  A very interesting combination if I do say so myself.  Even the girl that does my hair has complimented me on my new hair color and can’t believe that it’s 100% natural.  And this is from someone who told me a year ago that I might not be happy with the results if I stopped coloring my hair.  I’ve gotten several compliments from people – some family, some complete strangers – about my hair color and ask where I get it done.  Needless to say, I consider the experiment a success and have decided that, as far as the hair color goes, I’m going to embrace my grey hair and wear it proudly. 
Over the last month or so, Hubby has been "suggesting" that I should "do something" about the grey hair.  I should point out that my last highlighting appointment was 10 months ago . . . and he’s just now noticing the grey hair?  I told Hubby about my decision to go grey and he’s less than thrilled.  We’ve been "discussing" this for a week or so now.  He’s having trouble understanding that I don’t see the need to color my hair anymore.  Could it be that he’s having trouble grasping the concept that his young wife isn’t that young anymore?  Could it be that seeing me getting older is reminding him of the big age difference between us (9½ years) and that if the wife is old, then he’s really old?  I don’t know.  I just know that even though I may have won the latest battle, I haven’t won the war yet.  I can see the wheels in his brain working and I’m sure there’s another battle or two left in this war. . . . 
So my question – to him and to you – is this. . . . Why is it that a man with grey hair is distinguished and a woman with grey hair is old?  And what will it take to change the double standard? 


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2 responses to “Does She or Doesn’t She

  1. Linda

    I have another related question.  Why do wrinkles give a man character. Wrinkles on a woman are not as desirable, so they say.  I disagree. I love my wrinkles.  They show my many years of laughing and smiling.  Women without wrinkles must never move their faces. 🙂 Wear your hair proudly.  Your husband should get over it someday.

  2. Brenda

    Something must be going on with Hubs if he\’s suddenly noticing what has been right before him for several months.  Hmmmm…  I think your theory about the age difference is a good possibility.  Perhaps if you tell him how much $ you are now saving by not coloring your hair he will change his mind about it?  It worked for me when I stopped highlighting and went with color… CH was sold after seeing the price difference.  (Such a practical guy.)
    The Today Show aired a story about this "double standard" a few months ago, and basically the conclusion was that it will never change… as much as Hollywood has attempted to change it in recent months.  All I know is that with my dark hair and genetics, I don\’t have much of a choice either.  So I\’m doing the color… for now.  (But hey, that means more salon pampering!  Who can argue with that?)

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