It’s a beautiful day – the sun is shining, the spring flowers are trying to bloom, but today I’m in a "mood" about one of my two-legged kids – the stepkids. I’ve been a part of their lives since they were 8 and 10 years old. During their growing up years, we had the usual "evil step-monster" relationship, but things have gotten better as they’ve gotten older. They’ve told me at times that I’m as much a Mom to them as their real mom. I know that I’ll never take the place of their Mom, nor do I want to, but it’s nice to know they think of me that way. I think of them as "my kids" and I love them with all my heart.
Anyway, the mood I’m in today is because of T – the daughter. To borrow a phrase from Dr. Phil, she’s running her life into the ditch and all we (her family) can do is wait for the train to wreck so that we can be there to help her pick up the pieces of her life. It’s very painful to watch someone you love – especially your child – make decisions about their life and the life of their children that you don’t agree with or decisions that you know are wrong or just plain stupid. It’s especially painful because she has three kids that are having to pay for the stupid/wrong decisions that she’s making.
I’m sad because I can see the havoc that she’s bringing to her own life, the lives of her kids, and the life of The Ex. I’m dumbfounded that this intelligent 34 year old woman can’t see the mess she’s making of her life. I’m angry that we have to keep going through this drama all the time. I’m worried about how all this is going to affect the grandkids as they grow up. As surprising as it might sound, I’m worried about the toll that this is taking on The Ex. Hubby and I and Jr. live over 300 miles away so we don’t see the day to day drama, but we’re aware of the situation and The Ex gives us updates from time to time. T lets on that everything is fine and doesn’t tell us anything that’s going on until there is major drama. The Ex lives in the same city as T and has a daily dose of the "continuing saga" that has become T’s life. To be fair to The Ex, she has done everything in her power to get help for T, to get information about available resources for T, and to just generally be there any time and every time T and the kids have asked for her help. Sometimes T is appreciative, sometimes T thinks that The Ex is a pain in the butt and should leave her alone. In defense of The Ex, she’s just being Mom and trying to protect her child – even if the child is self-destructing.
So, I’m trying to find joy in the other parts of my life. Like I said, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the flowers are trying to bloom. When I get home, I’ll have two doggies and a Hubby to give me love and affection. I might even fire up the gas grill and have the first burgers of the season. Maybe that will help brighten my mood.