This Is A Test . . .

And Prince Charming passed with flying colors.  It was his “how do you take care of a sick girlfriend” test.

It’s been hot and muggy here the last couple of weeks.  Highs in the 90′s with humidity so bad that the heat index is like 110!  The weather man is calling it “air you can wear” and you can feel it the minute you walk outside . . . it hasn’t been this bad in quite a few years.

Normally, I don’t mind summer.  I like the warmer weather.  I like the heat.   I don’t like the humidity.  Or rather, the humidity doesn’t like me.  The humidity triggers my migraines.  I’ve been very lucky and have had the migraines under control for a while . . . so much so that I can take over the counter meds whenever I get one.  Well, that streak has gone out the window.  I’ve had migraines off and on for the past week.

You know me, I’m a trouper.  I suck it up and deal with it.  I take the OTC meds and soldier on with life.  One foot in front of the other and all that jazz.  This has been a new experience for Prince Charming.  I’ve explained my history of migraines to him and that it’s not unusual for the headaches to last so long . . . and I’ve explained why I don’t have anything stronger than OTC meds to help me deal with it . . . and he’s been wonderfully understanding . . . and wonderfully supportive . . .

But there comes a time when “soldiering on” doesn’t work anymore and I have to give in and cry “Uncle” and let the migraine win . . . and that’s what I did on Monday.  I woke up and my head hurt worse than it had in a while.  I just didn’t have the strength to fight it anymore so I cried “uncle,” called in sick, and crawled back into bed.

Prince Charming woke up and was surprised that I was still in bed.  I explained that the migraine won and I was staying home from work today.  He asked if there was anything he could do to make it better . . . awww . . . I told him I just needed to sleep . . . bless his heart . . . he had me put my head on his shoulder and rubbed my right temple until I fell asleep again.

But wait . . . there’s more . . .

He waited on me hand and foot . . . he took the phone out of the bedroom so it wouldn’t wake me up . . . when I finally got up he made me tea and toast . . . he sat on the couch and let me rest my head on his shoulder and nap off and on most of the day . . . he gently convinced me that I needed to eat lunch . . . and take more meds . . . and drink more tea.  At one point I told him it was okay if he had stuff that he needed to do and he said that the only thing on his agenda for today was to make sure my headache went away . . . aaawwww . . .

So we sat on the couch and watched TV . . . not the trash TV that I normally watch when I’m home sick . . . it was the debt ceiling debate stuff on CNN and Fox but it didn’t really matter because I was napping most of the time . . . and besides, I was with Prince Charming . . .

I got lucky and the headache went away by the end of the day and (knock wood) it hasn’t come back . . .

I got lucky and have found a man that isn’t afraid to show his sensitive and caring side . . .

Guilt

I love the little house.

But there are things that XH did that I hate and I want to change. I want the little house to be a home for me and Prince Charming.

I have a big list of things that I want to do . . . and I want to do them all now . . . but since money is an issue, they go on a list and the priority of the list changes based on my mood!

It’s my house now so I should be able to do whatever I want, right?

So why do I have pangs of guilt every time I think of removing something that I tolerated for years because it was what XH wanted? I didn’t want it in the first place, I don’t like it now that I have to deal with it, but yet I feel guilty that I’m taking down something that XH did?

How long before I finally start to feel comfortable in the little house?

Longest Week Ever

How it only just now be Friday?

Weeks with a day off for a holiday are always difficult . . . I can never tell what day it is!

Just one more work day and it’s the weekend again. Whoo hoo!

Today’s My Birthday!

A cake has been baked FOR me not BY me!

Bacon is being cooked FOR me, not BY me!

A present was bought FOR me, not BY me!

My wildest birthday wishes have all come true! What a difference a year makes!

Pfffttt

This makes me laugh.  Every.  Time.  I.  See.  It.

Guaranteed!

Funny how the thing you never knew you wanted ends up being the thing you can’t live without!

I know I say that all the time about Millie . . . but it’s true . . . she’s been such a blessing to me.  Rocky loves her and they are inseparable.  She’s the wild one of the bunch . . . she wants to be a good girl, but sometimes her joy for living takes over and it gets her into all kinds of trouble . . . you can see that we had to keep her leash on her during the photo shoot . . . there were too many things to see and smell and slurp . . .

But when you are looking at a face like that . . . you can’t be mad at her for very long . . .

Laughter

After the divorce, I lived alone for 6 months . . . it was nice, quiet, orderly. Predictable. I had a schedule and Millie, Rocky, and I were all very happy being here in the Little House. A family of three.

Then Prince Charming arrived . . . and everything changed. We have a schedule, but it’s not set in stone. Life is predictable but it also changes frequently. The house is still tidy and orderly . . . most of the time . . . when you are out doing things and going places you tend not to care about if there is clutter on the kitchen table. If you are enjoying someone’s company, you don’t care if the dishes don’t get done right away. If you are having wonderful conversations about all kinds of things, you don’t need the TV on for background noise . . .

I’ve learned to let go of a lot of things. Accept new things. Experience new things. Thank you, Prince Charming, for helping me open up a bit and live life with more gusto . . .

But most of all . . . thank you for bringing laughter back to the Little House . . . listening to you laugh tonight while you were watching TV made the Little House feel like Home again . . .

What A Cute Little Family!

Everybody . . . this is Prince Charming.  Prince Charming . . . this is everybody!

This was taken about two weeks after Prince Charming moved into the Little House.  It was at a event to raise funds for the local Humane Society . . . and I had scheduled the appointment before I knew that Prince Charming would be moving to Ohio.  I wasn’t sure if he would want to be in a family portrait with me and the dogs . . . and bless his heart, he said “yes” before I could even finish asking the question!

The photographer had no idea of our little family’s background and commented several times on what a cute family we were and how happy the dogs were.

It warmed my heart to hear that . . . because at that time I was full of questions about “What the heck am I doing?”

The first picture isn’t quite my idea of a traditional family portrait  . . .  but we aren’t necessarily a traditional family so that’s a perfect picture of us!  It is a true picture of what who we are . . .

But the traditionalist in me had to have the formal posed portrait, too!

See those smiles . . . yea, that’s how it is all the time . . . in case you’re wondering . . . it was easy to get Rocky to be still but Millie was a different story!  

Unfair

I’ve been on a rampage the last few days . . . and it’s not pretty . . .

I could go on and on about how unfair life is and the road blocks and obstacles that Prince Charming and I are struggling with every day.  I actually started a post to do just that.  Rant and rave and carry on and tell all the gory details.  I thought writing it all down would help me feel better.  It didn’t.

It made me feel worse.

And, really, who wants to hear gory details when they have gory details of their own to deal with? 

Prince Charming told me the other day that “Times are hard, but life is good.”  My initial reaction was “WTF?” but once I got over the initial confusion of “how is that possible?” I saw the brilliance in his thinking.   

Money is tight.  He doesn’t have a job.  The divorce laws inVirginia make it very complicated (read expensive!) for him to get a divorce.  There’s a nice little list of obstacles and road blocks that seems to grow on a daily basis. 

As bleak as it appears to me sometimes, I have to remember one thing . . .

. . . I am not alone anymore . . . 

I was facing pretty much the same stuff last year . . . money was tight, Ex-Hub wasn’t working, and my 26 year marriage was falling apart . . . I felt lost and alone.  The burden of the world was on my shoulders and I was starting to crumble.  It was sad.  I was sad. 

The difference now is that I am not facing these things alone anymore.    

Prince Charming is here in the Little House with me.  I have my bestest friend by my side and together we can slay the dragons and take on the road blocks and obstacles that are in our path to Happily Ever After.  When I have a bad day, he kisses me sweetly, he makes me laugh, and he promises me that everything will okay and that we will be fine.  When I think that the burden of the world is on my shoulders, he reminds me that he’s here to help share the load. 

Who could ask for anything more?

The Day They Left Their Brains At Home

First call of the day . . . a sub on the switchboard asked if I called a certain client this morning . . . Uh, no, I just walked in the door. “Well, someone called her from here because the number was ‘unavailable’ and our calls always come up that way.” Did they leave a message? “No” Did she say what med she needed “No.” I just rolled my eyes and asked the sub to give me the phone message.

I called the patient and asked if she had called about a refill on her meds. “No, but I’m gonna be out soon so I thought you might be calling to remind me.” Uh, sorry, my psychic abilities don’t work until after I’ve had my caffeine.

A co-worker calls me to tell me there’s a typo on the form that I’m supposed to distribute to the clerical/clinical staff today. “It’s in the middle of the first page. Can you find it and fix it before you send it out? Thanks!” I proof read the form . . . I ran Spell Check on the form . . . I can’t find the typo . . . I called the co-worker to get more info about the typo but haven’t gotten a response yet. The co-worker that called me is the one who typed the form and made the typo but yet she doesn’t remember what word is typed wrong!

A patient called today in tears that her evil landlord is enforcing the no pets rule and she needs her doctor to write her a note saying that she needs a small companion dog – like a chihuahua – to help with her mental problems. Her nephew bought the dog for her a “couple of months ago” even though she’s in a “no pets” building. She has to have it today . . . “can I have my landlord drop the form off to you?” Uh, no, the doctor is on vacation for a week and you need to sign a release of information form before we can send the form to the landlord. “Oh, really? Okay, well I’ll just wait til my appointment on the 27th.”

I called a client to tell him the written prescription he requested was available for him to pick up. The patient said “I’m at the pool. Can I have my mom get it for me?” Uh, no, that’s not possible. “Why?” Uh, because it’s for a controlled substance. “Oh, okay, well I’ll be there tomorrow.”

And everyone wonders why I’m always laughing in my office. Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up!

A Helping Hand

The hearing in my right ear is pretty bad and has been for a while.  A year ago, the ear doc said that it was time to start thinking about either surgery or a hearing aid.  While the hearing is bad, it’s not bad enough to make me a candidate for surgery yet.  He recommended a hearing aid.   

Okay to say that I was not happy about that development is an understatement.  But when I saw the results of the different hearing tests that had been done, I sucked it up and accepted the facts.  I need a hearing aid. 

I don’t make a lot of money and my insurance is less than stellar.  I would have to cover 100% of the cost of a hearing aid.  It was $2,500.  I don’t have that kind of money so the audiologist recommended me to the state’s department of vocational rehabilitation.  Since I had a job, and I needed the hearing aid to be able to do my job, they might be able to help cover the cost of the hearing aid.  Yippee!!

That has started me on a fruitless search for help . . . the state can’t help me because I’m not disabled enough.  With recent budget cuts, they can only help the seriously needy.  Since I have a job and only one disability, I don’t qualify as “seriously needy”.  The state gave me pages and pages of other resources that might be available to help me.

I’ve been following all these leads (and any other leads I can find) and getting more and more frustrated as the days go by. 

I make too much money to qualify for a lot of the programs.  Since I’m no longer a young adult and not yet a senior citizen, I don’t qualify for a lot of the other programs.  The discount programs are joke because the price WITH the discount is only a couple hundred dollars less than what my ENT doc is charging.  Because of the outstanding medical bills for my broken arm and the damage to my credit history from the bankruptcy XH and I filed two years ago, I can’t qualify for a loan or one of those “health care” credit cards. 

I get up every morning and go to work.  I work between 42 and 45 hours a week.  I don’t make a lot of money but I make enough to pay the bills with a little left over.  Things are a little tight, but I’m doing okay.  I’m very proud of the fact that I’m standing on my own two feet and doing just nicely on my own.  Things have been a little rough for me this year . . . the divorce . . . the broken arm . . . the medical bills . . . I’ve faced a lot of very hard things and done just fine thank you very much.  I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to do this, too.  But right now I’m pissed that I’m being penalized for what little success I’ve been able to achieve.